Some women have it...

and these women are Claudia Schiffer and Elle Macpherson, especially after reading this article. They are mothers of two and still look better than I do at 23 single and childless. Although, granted, they do have all the money in the world to look this great, but some women who have that kindof money do not look like that. Or, they try too hard to look like that and end up looking like this piece of crap

 

It's so easy to spot the rich housewives who have nothing better to do than spend their money on plastic surgery and botox and work out 24/7 because they don't need full time jobs. See I am torn, I work really hard and feel like I am going no where in life and then I think how easy it would be to score someone as old and horny as this guy 

and just close my eyes and think of someone else and then turn out rich, gorgeous, in shape, with fabulous hair and a great wardrobe, and then move on with my life and my millions. One such lady who did exactly that, and did it well, is Gretchen, my favorite gold-digger from the Real Housewives of Orange County.

 

She was dating some kind of Nascar CEO worth mills who had cancer (which is actually sad, I would rather my sugar daddy die of old age painlessly) and now she is a millionaress and dating Slade, who although is kindof a douche, is hot and is much more "spongeworthy" to quote Elaine than her former luvah. 

 

To Gretchen Rossi, former aerobics instructor, real estate agent, goldigger extraordinaire, and all over hot bitch, I salute you!